***Update*** Long Distance Relationship series 

  
Hi all,
I know it has taken a while since I announced the compliation of my popular Long Distance Relationship series into a mini self guide – I do however have a valid reason! 

In between promising to release a mini guide and now, I was blessed to carry twin girls within me – and doubly blessed with their birth last year! So yes, I have been a full time mother for a little over a year now, focusing and nurturing our two daughters into happy little ladies of substance.

I am ready to get back to the drawing table with my self guide, it will not be an overnight project though work on it commences again next week  – I know many out there are dealing with the issues attached to being in a long distance relationship and so this book will be a perfect companion.  

If you are new to this series and would like a peek view click here for excerpts:

https://lavergneaiko.wordpress.com/the-long-distance-relationship-series/

Thank you again for your patience and fabulous support! 

Have a joyful Sunday! 

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Disrespect who?

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Disrespect slowly but surely closes the window to the heart

Disrespect does not bring down strongholds it raises them

Disrespect turns the humble to rubble and the strong to dust

Disrespect wipes away the tiniest glimmers of shared hope

Disrespect harms the purest of intentions and drags around the bones of goodwill

Disrespect feasts on the mind of its target – invading areas of self worth

Disrespect lingers like rotten food – slowly deteriorating the inner beings of self

Disrespect widens the gap between lovers and weakens bonds of steel

Disrespect tears down plans for the future and tramples on the present

Disrespect knows no bound – its sting is deadly

Disrespect mocks the innocent soul and feeds the egotistical spirit

Disrespect blinds itself to the obvious good and sees only darkness in places where goodness reigns

Disrespect enjoys the tears and weaknesses of its victims

Disrespect digs its sharpened nails into the root of individuals

Disrespect knows no peace and resides on shaky waters

Disrespect will never change its colours…its spots will remain the same!

Disrespect revises the past and attacks all possibilities

Disrespect is blind to self – playing the harp of victimisation and blaming others for its failures

Disrespect voids feelings and in turn regulates hate

Disrespect attempts to build a home and with the same hands demolishes it

Disrespect does not value mistakes made – instead it ridicules

Disrespect transforms saints to sinners

A note:
*be kind to people it is a necessary good – perfection to impress others is not our goal – it is impossible to perfect any flaw in a fellow human being. Tearing another person down is a deliberate act to seek out perfection in them for selfish reasons such as “oh you really annoy me when…” – to be quite frank, perfection is an area we will never truly understand!

The Antidotal Wisdom Age

Wisdom, motivational and perceived idealism dominate my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter timelines by way of quotes and advice.

Personally I enjoy it all – the variety offered by social media posts! I prefer to see words that have the affect of pushing me in the direction of reflecting positively over negative energies attached to certain instances that occur or the display of beautiful scenic photos taken of places around the world (especially as I am not a very good tourist lol) than mere ‘selfies’ and a constant show of items owned (materialism)…*yawns*😴

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At times events occur in life and all it takes is a look at one of my timelines and there it is a quote I can relate to word for word. It is almost too much of a coincidence and at the same time therapeutic. Hence, in a bid to not forget such powerful words in a rush I save the image bearing the quote, constantly requiring me to delete applications from my smartphone. As of today images mostly wisdom quotes take up a staggering 2.2gb of my phone memory *eek* 😣

Life is shrouded in mystery – the most mysterious is interaction with fellow human beings of which most of my favourite quotes relate too.

My top 5 wisdom filled quotes so far:

1.

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This hit me like a ton of bricks after having a very deep conversation with my husband, I hopped onto Instagram and there is was – ready for my double tap!

I had just revealed to my better half how bruised I was when I reflected on recent occurrences in my life and he instilled the most comforting words in me. In summary he advised me not to expect much from an individual who has already shown their true colours – he further stated that once you understand the behaviours and attitudes of people then expectations should equalise or better still no expectations should exist at all!

With expectations extremely low or in extreme cases non-existent there will be no space within you for anger and hurt when they decide to reveal their colours again – it will all of a sudden become an easy task to accept them for who they really are and the ball is in your court to continue to dine with them or leave them at the table of life!

…the ball is in your court to continue to dine with them or leave them at the table of life! – LavergneAiko™

I must admit it was a lot to swallow but the truth at its best always makes one shiver – having high expectations of any individual especially one who has given you a reason to deal with them on a ‘once bitten, twice shy’ basis, should not have additional expectations laid on their shoulders by you, in a twisted way it is pretty unfair for that individual – it is also a waste of resources and most precious of all – your time.

If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed – Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment -DougLas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

2.

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Everyone always has an opinion – be it asked for or just thrown in your face. The way I deal with such people who are constantly over-opinionated about my life is to ignore them and allow their words to float far far away from my consciousness – and into a pile of waste where their words will feel a little more comfortable. This way ensures that the power of their words are diminished immediately and I am not distracted from the path God has laid me on.

Accepting uninvited opinions especially from individuals who in actuality are quite unconcerned about your wellbeing – is similar to allowing a cobra to sink its venomous teeth into your forearm because it asked you ever so nicely for your permission! Once the venom hits you internally you are the one to deal with the results of your stupidity not the culprit – same goes for careless opinions, accepting them only turns your life upside down not theirs. Remember an opinion is only “a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty” (dictionary.com) so imagine accepting such risky information from just any person *disaster* – if opinions must be given you should entrust such privileges only to persons in your life who you trust and believe their intentions are in the right place!

Opinions are dismissible as well as the giver of the opinion – LavergneAiko™

You cannot filter another’s mouth – but you can definitely filter how you receive the information shared. Opinions are dismissible as well as the giver of the opinion – remember that! Never allow anyone’s opinion rock you of your course!

Never allow anyone’s opinion rock you of your course! – Lavergneaiko™

3.

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Keeping your intentions and thoughts towards others pure assists greatly in creating a beautiful heart within you! No one is perfect – but we must not fall behind the screens of jealousy and envy, or living in the hope of seeing another not prosper. Mental states centred on the fall of others and a restraining of oneself from rejoicing with another will slowly chip away at your inner being and change every beautiful thing that you possessed into ugliness.

Mental states centred on the fall of others and a restraining of oneself from rejoicing with another will slowly chip away at your inner being and change every beautiful thing that you possessed into ugliness – LavergneAiko™

Money may have the capability to maintain you physically for the outside eye to feast on – however it is unable to penetrate and sustain our internal being when compared to a good sense of being linked to having good intentions for others. Remember God Almighty has a deeper interest in the real objective of our hearts – what it entertains and delights in – powerful stuff!

Remember God Almighty has a deeper interest in the real objective of our hearts – what it entertains and delights in – LavergneAiko™

When one possesses a beautiful heart life becomes even more colourful and exciting, their outer being positively radiates what they feel within themselves. Sharing in another’s happiness will excite you and in the same breathe open doors for the receiving of your own specialised blessings from above.

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind – Anon

4.

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This makes for a perfect analogy! If flowers competed with their budding neighbours we would be forced to experience very pitiful looking flowerbeds. The aroma, the collaboration of vivid colours would all be poisoned by the struggle leaving only a few to rise and the majority to wither away. A flower must concentrate wholly on its development to radiate and at the same time stay healthy and supportive as to not contaminate and unbalance its neighbours. This is teamwork at its best during the winter months – resulting in united beauty in the summer!

We as humans need to embrace such principles – if you are competing with an individual your attention is automatically divided between yourself and this person – your true potential will always remain overshadowed by what the next person is doing. You are unable to blossom and in doing so attempt to distract others around you. A competitive person stands out like a sore thumb – it is almost impossible to conceal such an aggressive trait amongst peers!

A competitive person stands out like a sore thumb – it is almost impossible to conceal such an aggressive trait amongst peers!

Do not contaminate yourself and your surroundings with a spirit of competition – you loose out on so much personal and spiritual growth and in turn become resentful when the individual you consider a rival continuously succeeds in life while you stand in the sidelines plotting your next unsuccessful move.

Do not waste expensive time on earth in combat instead focus your energies on nurturing a beautiful heart, invest internally -LavergneAiko™

We must remember that this earth will fade away and our ultimate goal is meeting God one on one – utilise your energies ensuring both you and your fellow person are not blown away like chaff in the wind. I believe that this goal is our number one priority when compared to what you can gain on earth involving sacrificing your inner peace to maintain the results.

Indeed their prosperity is not in their hand; The counsel of the wicked is far from me.

They are like straw before the wind, And like chaff that a storm carries away. (Job 21:16, 18 NKJV)

Do not waste expensive time on earth in combat instead focus your energies on nurturing a beautiful heart, invest internally!

5.

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Friendship is not a numbers game – one could have 50 friends and feel like the loneliest person alive or have relationships dating back 50 years and have absolutely nothing to show.

Friendship is not an easy title to bestow on a person based on numbers – I remember posting a comment under a youtube video discussing on the topic of friendship (posted below).

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In recent times I have noticed a very calculated display of loyalty that continues to baffle me to the bones. Loyalty is a demonstration of fidelity to a person, the following falls under the umbrella of fidelity:

a. Attachment
b. Dependability
c. Faith
d. Integrity
e. Reliability
f. True – heartedness
g. Trustworthiness

The above listed may overlap in meaning, however my aim is to bring to light the heavy duty nature of loyalty – it is not as subtle as most consider it.

…the essence of loyalty is completely diminished on their part and the title of a ‘friend’ is only a disguise – LavergneAiko™

Loyalty is not only an expression of support during the bad times of your friend’s life – there must be an even more enhanced support system even during the good/best times of their life. If one is unable to provide their friend with support and encouragement during the good times of their lives and instead takes up residence in the background, fails to share in one’s happiness or totally shade the joy in a friend’s life – the essence of loyalty is completely diminished on their part and the title of a ‘friend’ is only a disguise.

Loyalty is not only an expression of support during the bad times of your friend’s life – there must be an even more enhanced support system even during the good/best times of their life – LavergneAiko™

Another form of an individual’s lack of loyalty is the typical – “you were not here for me during the times I needed you the most” (the bad times). As this is the most common and experienced episodes of friendship breakdown – I will not elaborate on it further.

Know your friends not by their numbers but by the value you both as a team impact on each other’s lives – LavergneAiko™

Dangle the word ‘friend’ loosely – individuals may even go as far to manipulate you with the fact they have known you for x amount of years therefore their behaviour tallies up – or in their small minds they have a warped belief that their loyalty still stands after their assistance through your bad times so why should their absence during the good times make a difference. Yes we live in the strangest of times.

You cannot force anyone to care about you – LavergneAiko™

Know your friends not by their numbers or accumulation of years but by the value you both as a team have impacted on each other’s lives.

Update****

I am overwhelmed with the response to the final post of the Long Distance Relationship Series!

I have now complied all the links of past posts for easy access.

Link is above under title of this page or you can just click below:

LDR Series Links

Thanks so much and stay inspired!

A Fierce word!

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“If I were in your shoes, I’d go straight to God, I’d throw myself on the mercy of God. After all, he’s famous for great and unexpected acts; there’s no end to his surprises. He gives rain, for instance, across the wide earth, sends water to irrigate the fields. He raises up the down-and-out, gives firm footing to those sinking in grief. He aborts the schemes of conniving crooks, so that none of their plots come to term. He catches the know-it-alls in their conspiracies— all that intricate intrigue swept out with the trash! Suddenly they’re disoriented, plunged into darkness; they can’t see to put one foot in front of the other. But the downtrodden are saved by God, saved from the murderous plots, saved from the iron fist. And so the poor continue to hope, while injustice is bound and gagged. (Job 5:8-16 MSG)

Why the lion roars?

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“My chosen people have roared at me like a lion of the forest, so I have treated them with contempt.”
Jeremiah 12.8(NLT)

Reasons why lions roar

    1.To Communicate with each other
    2. Proclaim their territory – an act they perform every evening to keep other dominant lions away!
    3. Roaring is utilised by a lion as a strategy to confuse and allow for the effective capture of prey. The lion in all his might creeps up behind unsuspecting prey and in a sudden burst ROARS extremely loud sending shockwaves through the defenceless animal – who in turn is so bewildered and is unable to logically escape leading to its untimely death.

Analysis of Jeremiah 12:8

1. The people are communicating only among themselves and ignoring the sovereignty of the Lord and His Voice. They do not concern themselves with the counsel of the Lord nor do they believe that it is worth the ground they walk on. They devise ways to keep God out of their dealings among each other – and instead turn to Baal worship as a substitute to the reality of God’s voice.

Jeremiah 8: 4-7

“4 Jeremiah, say to the people,`This is what the LORD says:

“When people fall down, don’t they get up again?
When they discover they’re on the wrong road, don’t they turn back?
5 Then why do these people stay on their self-destructive
path?
Why do the people of Jerusalem refuse to turn back?
They cling tightly to their lies
and will not turn around.
6 I listen to their conversations
and don’t hear a word of truth.
Is anyone sorry for doing wrong?
Does anyone say, “What a terrible thing I have done”?
No! All are running down the path of sin
as swiftly as a horse galloping into battle!
7 Even the stork that flies across the sky
knows the time of her migration,
as do the turtledove, the swallow, and the crane.
They all return at the proper time each year.
But not my people!
They do not know the LORD ‘s laws.

2.They constantly proclaimed their territory, quickly forgetting that God was responsible for their swift departure from Egypt…that God engineered their freedom. In their disobedience they deliberately kept God out – distanced themselves from his blessings and attached themselves to Baal – idol of the world!

Jeremiah 11:1-5

The LORD gave another message to Jeremiah. He said, 2 “Remind the people of Judah and Jerusalem about the terms of my covenant with them. 3 Say to them, `This is what the LORD , the God of Israel, says: Cursed is anyone who does not obey the terms of my covenant! 4 For I said to your ancestors when I brought them out of the iron-smelting furnace of Egypt, “If you obey me and do whatever I command you, then you will be my people, and I will be your God.” 5 I said this so I could keep my promise to your ancestors to give you a land flowing with milk and honey—the land you live in today.”

3. The people confused and blinded their neighbours with godlessness. Devising strategies to dilute the Word of God and draw more people to the worship of idols such as Baal. Covertly designing methods to capture the weak – people who had lost sight of God and thirsty for a replacement.

Jeremiah 10:1-5

1 Hear the word that the LORD speaks to you, O Israel! 2 This is what the LORD says:

“Do not act like the other nations,
who try to read their future in the stars.
Do not be afraid of their predictions,
even though other nations are terrified by them.
3 Their ways are futile and foolish.
They cut down a tree, and a craftsman carves an idol.
4 They decorate it with gold and silver
and then fasten it securely with hammer and nails
so it won’t fall over.
5 Their gods are like
helpless scarecrows in a cucumber field!
They cannot speak,
and they need to be carried because they cannot walk.
Do not be afraid of such gods,
for they can neither harm you nor do you any good.”

Examples of how we in modern times roar at God:

1. In times of troubles we firstly seek the help of fellow human beings. When we go through storms in life God desires to hear from us first- this demonstrates faith and trust in your heavenly Father.

His precious counsel is required right from the beginning. He will then if necessary place relevant persons to assist us, but we must seek His face first. Seek His will in our lives first and patiently wait on His response- as we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Phil 4:13).

Jeremiah 10:6-7

6 LORD , there is no one like you!
For you are great, and your name is full of power.
7 Who would not fear you, O King of nations?
That title belongs to you alone!
Among all the wise people of the earth
and in all the kingdoms of the world,
there is no one like you.

2. We are fond of claiming and proclaiming territory in our life in our own power – forgetting who placed us there in the first place. We are weak without the Lord and we tend to forget that His grace is sufficient even in our state of sin. We need to have a steadfast spirit of thanking God for His work in our lives.

We cannot continue to ignore His handwork and attribute it to our own efforts. Give thanks for the position you are in life right now – as well as the perks that come attached ( money, influence, fulfilment etc). We must not attempt to push God out of our successes and praise ourselves. Remember He is central to each and every success story in our lives!
He deserves all the glory!

3. We should always be an example of God – and live right! Rather than joining the bandwagon and fooling our neighbours into a false sense of belief that secularism and Christianity work hand in hand. It does not! Although we are not close to perfect- we should be a work in progress for the Lord .

Be first to correct our neighbours in things that are not of God- instead of going with the flow of the general consensus. Stand out for God and He will stand out for you!

Jeremiah 12:14-17

14 Now this is what the LORD says: “I will uproot from their land all the evil nations reaching out for the possession I gave my people Israel. And I will uproot Judah from among them. 15 But afterward I will return and have compassion on all of them. I will bring them home to their own lands again, each nation to its own possession. 16 And if these nations truly learn the ways of my people, and if they learn to swear by my name, saying, `As surely as the LORD lives’ (just as they taught my people to swear by the name of Baal), then they will be given a place among my people. 17 But any nation who refuses to obey me will be uprooted and destroyed. I, the LORD , have spoken!”

Think about it: We should take time to consider how we have been roaring at our Saviour – our Rock- and ways in which we should adjust our behaviours and fellowship more with Jehovah?

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Stop worrying: The reality of worrying!

Worrying is not faith.

Sometimes I find myself lost in relentless worry – especially about things that are not even realistically possible – can you imagine the painful experience of worrying about nothing! It hurts the mind!

I now regard worry as a naïve form of procrastination – especially when one worries about something or someone they have no business with – isn’t that just a pure waste of useful time.

Worrying can really choke the life out of an individual – and lead on to very unfair and selfish thoughts. Society has conditioned us to believe that worry is a necessary tool in life – for instance television adverts that chant on about sickness and reasons why we must become obsessed with the tiniest of details.

A common UK message via advertising on television- “1 in 4 of you will be diagnosed with cancer.” What a shock right? In the middle of watching your favourite tv show and this government message is delivered! 10 seconds of a message about cancer has the power to lead an individual into an array of different thoughts, possibilities and what if’s. Suddenly every body pain experienced may in your mind be linked to cancer and obviously linked to that morbid advert. The vicious cycle of worrying begins…just imagine having such an advert shown 7 to 10 times a day.

My reaction to such messages these days – is an instant rejection of the words spoken – and we should all react in this way to such negativity.

I have come to realise that worrying “does not empty tomorrow of its troubles – it empties today of its strength” (anon)

Why waste valuable time holding on to a non-existent tomorrow – all we have is today – today is our gift and we must learn to appreciate it. The new gift of life is our ‘next day’ – it is new so why worry so much about it – it has not even had time to evolve yet and we are busy worrying about it.

I write this piece as a therapy to myself as well as to you – if worrying is holding you back in life – just let go and live that joyous life Jehovah has intended for us. Remember that “I (you) can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

Let’s live our days in satisfaction and enjoyment – knowing that we have been gifted another day to live!

My personal solutions

    1. write down my fears/worries (from this I define which issue I can deal with now or ones that are unrealistic)
    2. Talk about my issues (I know it may seem easier said than done – but this really helps)
    3. Read the Word of God – our comfort

God bless & Stay inspired!

♥ ℓavergnéaiko™

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